Sunday, December 16, 2007

Sammy Bear

Last year around this same time I was at a job that was taking its mental, emotional and physical toll on me. I was suffering severe depression from the passing of my father, the inability to grieve and Grad school was weighing heavily on me. Needless to say, I was not completely checked into my marriage as you can imagine. Things just seemed to be spiraling out of control.
In order to begin to take control of my life, I quit my job. However, the new found freedom and relief also impacted my depression and the ability for treatment. My birthday being in December was around the corner and I was just knee deep in depression and finding it hard to get out of bed.
Well the weekend before my birthday my younger brother Richard brought me home a pug named Pugsley for my birthday. Well this pug that I impulsively named Lola won my heart in minutes. Lola was being turned over to a shelter due to the fact that her original owner lost his apartment and job and the fact he couldn’t care for her. My brother had remembered me saying that I wanted a little pug and thought they were adorable and immediately got her for me. Well his memory and this sweet Pug saved my life.
Lola made me get up out of bed and walk her. She gave me this feeling of love and companionship that I craved. She gave me this special feeling that not anyone could give me; because it had no agenda. There was no reason for it and yet it was… It was pure, unadulterated love and companionship and loyalty. I had no idea dogs fill your heart up with love and make life good and livable. Lola gave me purpose when the job, friends and marriage were lacking. Lola put me in touch with my body by walking her. Lola made me smile and laugh daily and want to treat her well and therefore walking became our thing and taking care of me became part of that equation. It became clear to me that I needed to be around in order to be there for my buddy.
I have lost twenty pounds since adopting Lola. I love my Job/Internship. I haven’t been depressed in along time since Lola and this month I decided I needed to do something special for my Lola. I adopted Samuel Bear, a male pug to be Lola’s companion. Sammy Bear was adopted from parents who loved him, but who had recently had an unplanned baby and work eighty hours a week.
Sammy is just a big teddy bear. He is a large pug with a heart of gold. He loves Lola and is already protective of her; if she barks he gets up and checks and where ever she goes, he’s nearby. They play tug of war, chase and fetch together. Sammy gives Lola the company I cannot, no matter how I try. I think this gift to her was a way of telling her, thank you my friend. I love you, you saved my life and I give you this brother so that you are never lonely and feel love in every way possible.
Last night I saw Lola and Sammy give each other what appeared as a kiss. Sam leaned his head into Lola’s back and cuddled them both to sleep. Seconds later there a wheeze and light snore coming from there bed. It filled my heart to see this and know that adopting is synonymous with filling up with “Love.” I am grateful this year to Lola Bella and Sammy Bear for adopting me as their mom and loving me and filling my life up with passion, vigor, laughter, and happiness.

Look at my babes below... aren’t they precious?

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